Holed Up in Holbrook


As we talked about yesterday, I’ve spent the last couple of days either en route to, or captive in, Holbrook, Arizona.  When I checked into my hotel, the clerk asked what brought me to Holbrook.  I told her I was in town for work, as if there were any other reason, and her response?  “I’m sorry.”  Never a good sign.

This place is one of the shitholiest shitholes to which I’ve been sent in my 4+ years of being a professional shithole visitor (I like how I used ‘shithole’ three times in that sentence, and yet still refused to end a clause with a preposition), and It represents a rather acute example of what I had in mind when I named the blog what I did.  These little towns occupy substantially more of my time than Prague or Paris, and they put the unremarkable back in remarkably unremarkable…

But upon my arrival it was still a little too early to start drinking alone in my hotel room, so I bridged the gap from alcoholic to borderline alcoholic by taking a picture or four.  I have to give a disclaimer here: I took every one of these pictures on the 2-mile drive from dinner back to the hotel.  I didn’t go searching for abject poverty and boarded up buildings.  As far as I can tell, this is an accurate portrayal of the place.  At least it’s exactly what you’ll see if you head down the two major thoroughfares in town…

I write you from right about here. The picnic table outside my hotel room. A pretty sweet spot to drink some lonely juice and throw up some pictures.

Ah yes, main street.

I suppose the Econlodge has this place beat.

Haha, even the cop cars are busted around here.

If that double-wide needs some new cabinets, you know who to call...

Navajo Avenue... The other main drag through town.

Hell, if I got a roommate that'd only be $197.50 a month... Any takers?

C'mon... It's got a pretty awesome view...

A busted car behind one of the three restaurants in town that is still in business.

Ok, a few busted cars.

I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt... Maybe they do have the best food in town. But that's sort of like being the best dunker in the WNBA...

Kind of a funny story about this bar. The only other time I've been here, my esteemed colleague Glendo and I asked around trying to find a decent bar in town. While literally none of the three people we asked had a single recommendation for us, literally all three of them told us to stay the hell away from the Winner's Circle. We took their advice.

Cool old trucks, I suppose.

Looks like a nice neighborhood.

Sweet. Well, I guess Holbrook has the rock hook-up.

I bet you can get some pretty sweet electronix up in here.

At least they got my hot eats and cool treats covered.

Ok, this isn't a picture of a Burger King. Well, I guess it is. But the point is the KOA campground in the background there. Why? Why on earth would anyone choose to camp in this place? Go 80 miles down the road to Flagstaff. They have mountains, and pretty shit.

Well, at least the local economy is thriving. Here we have Holbrook's largest... boarded up building.

We gave the Indians small pox, Oklahoma, and this place. Nice work America.

Nah. I'll empty my pockets elsewhere.

Who wants some orange chicken? I feel like some orange chicken.

Man, even gas stations are going out business up in here. That's unreal.

Pretty solid vacant lot.

There are like five businesses in this town that aren't boarded up.

There it is. The prettiest thing in town. The water tower.

Anybody looking for a nice business venture? Call my boy Paul. Or my other boy Brian.

Ok. The sunset was pretty. I'll give 'em that.

That’s all for Holbrook.  I ought to be leaving this place in my rear view mirror tomorrow morning.  Not horribly upset about it either.    Coming tomorrow, the Sandstone Bluffs of the El Malpais National Monument.  We’ll see you then.

-B. Littleton

9 Comments

Filed under The Sights, The Sights of the Good Ol' US of A

9 responses to “Holed Up in Holbrook

  1. Sorry I had a few chuckles reading your post. I have a pop-up and will not be camping here anytime soon; Flagstaff sounds much better to me – ha! All I can say is try and make the best out of this situation and hopefully the Sandstone Bluffs is the place to escape to. Happy Hump Day!

    • Good, I’m glad you got a laugh or two out of it :). It’s really not too bad, I get to leave today, and it beats the boring office work I do when I’m not traveling… I went to the sandstone bluffs on the way here, and they’re really pretty… It was pretty fun to climb around take some pictures 😀

  2. William "Karate Jack" Gibson

    If you didn’t go to the Winner’s Circle then how did you get by without your package goods?

    • Dear Mr. Karate Jack,

      I found a gas station that sold me my ‘package goods’… And that particular gas station looked like it had a much lower shanking rate than the Winner’s Circle. Those of us without your expert karate skills have to worry about bikers with shanks….

      • William "Karate Jack" Gibson

        Call me Willy K-Jak Gibs for short, and you could have pick something up to even it out back in knife city.

  3. your post is very awesome. A good laugh for any shitty day! I like your prettiest water tank tower shot. In any shitty situation or place, it reminds me to find something positive and laugh at my destiny.

    • Hey thanks a lot. I’m glad you liked it. Really wasn’t too bad, only there for 2 days, so it could be worse. But you’re right, it’s important to try to find the good in those bad situations life tends to throw our way… Thanks for your interest 🙂

  4. Thanks for sharing your experience. I enjoyed reading your blogs whether good or bad experiences, you always bring such a great humor and joy. So true,so real and so funny! Keep blogging!

  5. Judy Plumery

    Why Brett, it’s the “Gateway to the Petrified National Forest”! A garden spot, really.

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